Wondering how to make a profile for an online dating site? Need some guidance?  Here are some tips and examples of what makes a good online dating profile for both men and women. Guaranteed to get you noticed..

1 – Use captivating Online Dating Profile Pictures

So the truth is, pictures are THE most important part of your profile. Period. I know what you’re going to say…’oh how vain and superficial’. But let’s be honest, we all study pics don’t we? It’s just human nature. We connect with our eyes first. I’m still not sure people realize this considering the bad pictures we see out there. Remember my earlier post?

The point is, you want to make sure someone takes a great pic of you looking your BEST and you want to stay clear of fuzzy pics taken far away. Leave that to people not reading this post. Try to stick to these pics:

• High definition shots –  Pictures taken with a high definition camera  always attract more attention. People will always  look at these before any others since the clarity is nice on the eyes. Try to stay away from pictures taken with low-quality camera phones.

• Action shots – are great since they show you being active and fun.

• Head shots – people love being able to see your face by itself. The face tells a lot about a person. So it automatically draws people in. People want to see the eyes and facial expression. Do include body shots as additional pics so that people can see all of you. P.S. It’s only fair that people know your body type in advance. More importantly, you want someone that will like you for YOU.

• Black and white photos – there’s something very sexy about black and white pics. They tend to attract a lot of attention. As you can see, I’m a fan. I always use black and white pics as my profile and avatar pics. However, whatever you do, stay away from pics with any other types of special effects. We think you’re hiding something and it doesn’t attract.

2 – Make Your Profile STAND OUT

Be creative. Take a minute and scroll thru online profiles of members of your SAME sex on the online dating site and check out what they’re doing. What could you do be doing differently to get attention?

For example, if most women have pictures of themselves with friends as their main profile picture use a picture of you by yourself in yours. Or if a lot of them have full body shots, use a head shot. Make a statement. Do something that makes you unique.

3 – Make Your Interests Sound… Interesting!

Skip the boring stuff  – like what you do for a living. That doesn’t make you who you are. That just pays your bills. What people DO want to see is what positive, fun and different things you can bring to the table. That’s what they’re skimming for when they’re reading your profile. They want to know what they can learn from you. And yes, we all have things we can teach someone.

More importantly, the point is to be passionate about it. Even if all you do is watch TV all day, you can spice it up. It’s all about how you sell it. For example, if you love watching Hell’s Kitchen and you just say ‘I watch Hell’s Kitchen’ well that’s kinda boring… anyone can say that. But if you say ‘I’m determined to make a mean beef wellington like they do on Hell’s Kitchen’ well, now people are intrigued. Now you made an impression. Now you’re memorable. Even if you never do step foot in a kitchen in your life, the point is you have passion and drive.  That’s what people want to see on your profile.

4 – Speak from the Heart 

Nothing is more attractive than plain ol’ honesty. People want to see the human side of you. Your online dating profile shouldn’t look or sound like a formal, robotic resume (eww). It should sound like you… speaking from the heart. Pretend like you’re talking to your sibling or a friend. After you’ve given some facts about yourself even dare to throw in a one liner that is unexpected and hits a soft spot – like, ‘I sometimes crave a hug’. That works for men and women…easily!

5 – Use Words That Sound Passionate

Your online dating profile should be full of words such as: love, crazy about, amazing, sweet… you know what I mean. The more words you use like this, the more feelings come across and the more human you sound. This is SO important with online dating since we’ve stripped away the human interaction of getting to know someone. You can’t read facial expressions or tone online so all you’re left with is WORDS. It is so important to try to apply as much emotion the words on your profile as much as possible.

6 – Keep Them Wanting More

Don’t write too much. Don’t write too little. Give enough information on your online dating profile where people are intrigued and want to learn more about you. Read it again several times before you post it. Have someone of the opposite sex read it. Ask them honestly… Does it sound intriguing?

Happy Dating!

A low self esteem is not attractive. That’s the bottom line. Men and women alike sense a low self-esteem from miles away and they’ll run for the hills as soon as they realize you have no confidence in… yourself.

Here are some things you might be doing which indicate to the opposite sex you have low self-esteem.
1. You constantly seek approval and ask others if you look OK. (If you knew you looked good, you wouldn’t be asking).

2. You always look around to see if people are checking you out. (Does it matter?)

3. You copy what your friends wear. (Be different).

4. You buy things simply because of the label – even if you think it’s ugly and even if it IS ugly.

Exhibit 1:

(P.S. Who is this guy anyway? If he wants you to be a walking advertisement of his name and initials, he should pay YOU).

5. You’re afraid to be an individual – you fear people may laugh at you. (It takes someone with creativity and courage to start a trend. Make a statement!).

6. You never state your opinion for fear of ridicule. (It’s OK to have an opinion, it means you have a brain).

7. You don’t hang out with people that aren’t physically attractive. (Ugh)

8. You look down and slump your shoulders when you walk. (Momma always said look up and stand tall).

9. You get jealous when someone pays your friend a compliment. (Try paying them a compliment, too. It actually feels good).

10. You get jealous when your friends succeed. (Congratulate. Success will come to you, too).

11. You give your friends the cold shoulder when they find love. (Try working harder to find someone for yourself).

12. You get upset when your love interest says someone else is attractive. (It doesn’t mean you’re not attractive).

13. You wear barely there clothes to get attention. (The best looking men and women get attention wearing a snowsuit).

14. Attractive people intimidate you, so you avoid them. (You might learn something from them).

15. Successful people intimidate you. (You might learn a LOT from them).

16. You’re a man and afraid to approach a woman. You fear rejection, so you give up. (If you don’t keep trying you’ll end up alone).

17. You keep terrible friends. (If you hang out with them, it really does say a lot about you. Not to mention, you’ll never succeed in life or love).

19. You date losers over and over again. (Get rid of them. Find someone better)

It’s time to work on feeling better about yourself today! Find out How to Gain Confidence

A friend of mine, tweeted this yesterday: “If you spend too long holding on to the one who treats you like an option, [you] will miss finding someone who treats you like a priority.”

It was so on point that I told him I had to write about it. A simple concept, but time and time again I see many of my friends settling for the role of “an option.”

The Twitter quote took me back about a year when I was sitting at lunch with one of my sister-friends. She is an awesome person, but has always felt “average.” In a city like NEW YORK that is full of exceptional people, it can be even more profound if you’ve always felt like someone in the middle. I get it! I think she’s wrong about herself, but still I understand. 

She’d been dating this guy for a year when we had our lunch last year. Dating is difficult everywhere. In New York City, multiply the level of difficulty times ten. So, my sister-friend was happy to be dating a man with a solid job, handsome enough, and with all of his teeth. Yes, it’s that hard in the “Big Apple.” With that said, I could sense that she wasn’t completely happy. 

“Where do you see the relationship going, started talking about marriage yet?” I asked. She shook her head, “No.” I asked if she even saw herself marrying him. “We’ve never discussed it. Every time I bring it up, he changes the subject and says not to push him,” she sadly replied. Red flag! First, her reaction to my question told me more than her words. Second, I truly believe that the great majority of men who’ve found their wife know within the first year and begin to discuss marriage pretty quickly.

I must have opened Loveawake blog because she started spilling her frustrated guts. Basically, the guy was typically unresponsive to her and her needs. They’d stopped actually going out on dates about six months into the relationship. Now, she would cook for him, he’d come over, they’d have sex and he’d leave in the morning. And, he broke the cardinal rule (well, she let him). He would consistently call the day of and sometimes the evening of, when he wanted to “chill” with her.

“If someone is calling you the day of to make plans with you, rest-assured you are just an option,” I said. A year into the relationship this shouldn’t have been happening. If he couldn’t keep up the courting and romance for a year, then there was no hope for the future. And, if there’s no hope for the future, there was really no point. My sister-friend heard me, however, I could tell she didn’t hear me.

It made me sad because I could sense the fear and helplessness she felt. It was becoming that hard for an intelligent woman to find a man. And, for all intents and purposes, this guy was a “good man.” But, just because he was a “good man” didn’t mean he was good for her. Moreover, she clearly was not a priority in his life and there probably wasn’t anything she could do to change it. So, I told her to let him go.

“Easier said than done! As much as I want more, I definitely don’t want to be lonely every night. I want SOMEbody in my life," she explained. I retorted, “So, you’ll just settle for any ol’ thing to have SOMEbody?” I went on to explain that while she was settling for option status, there was a guy out there waiting to upgrade her. Sticking around with this guy because he was SOMEbody might just be blocking her from the man that was to be her true blessing.

My sister-friend continued to date the dude for a few more months. Fast forward to last week and we met to catch up and gossip. Plus, she had some great news for me – she was engaged. I knew she’d been dating a new guy who by all of our friends’ accounts was terrific. “You were a hundred percent correct! I was so desperate for a man that I’d allowed myself to take a back seat position.” And, she went on to describe the difference with her fiancé. He made her a priority in every sense of the word. She was completely happy and excited.

We’ve all been there... dating someone who you know is “just not that into you” and has not made you a priority in their life. Don’t let the difficulty of dating allow you to settle for less than you deserve. No matter who you are, we deserve to be in the pole position in our lover’s life. Wasting your time on someone who does not put you in that place may be getting in the way of you finding someone who will. Just say to yourself, I deserve to be a priority, not an option!